Moments
by Elly3981
Summary: A collection of Code Geass songfics and drabbles from the viewpoints of our favorite characters. Takes place at various times during and after the anime.
1. Because I Love You

Disclaimer: I do not own Code Geass or its characters. I just like to play with them. 'Moments' will be a collection of songfics and drabbles mostly from the viewpoints of our favorite characters. For our first fic, the song 'Because I Love You' is by Stevie B.

Because I Love You

"_Why do you still protect Lelouch? Do you love him?"_

Kallen's words echo in my mind as I gaze up at the ceiling from our bed. It is a cold, snowy December night, just like the night you were born, almost twenty years ago.

As I turn to my side, I reach out and caress your cheek with my finger, I cannot help but smile. You've grown up to be such a fine young man and did well in surpassing my expectations of you. You may think that we had met only two years prior but the truth is that I have been watching over you all your life. I knew your mother before you were born, I was there when she gave birth to you, and again when you and Nunnally were exiled to Japan as children. I always knew in my heart that you were special, that you would be a child of many gifts, that your actions would one day change the world and time proved me right. To your followers and the world, you were a brilliant thinker, a charismatic leader, and an incredibly talented actor.

_I got your letter _  
><em>From the postman just the other day <em>  
><em>So I decided to write you this song <em>  
><em>Just to let you know <em>  
><em>Exactly the way I feel <em>  
><em>To let you know my love's for real<em>

But to me, you were more than that. You were the babe I held in my arms the night he was born, the child I watched over from the shadows, and the young man who fulfilled my deepest desires. You won my respect and admiration by your determination to make the world a better place and the fact that you were strong where Mao had been weak; while he allowed himself to be destroyed by his geass, you controlled yours, refusing to let it twist and corrupt you.

In C's world, you asked me why I didn't force my curse of eternal life on you. The truth was, I wasn't sure myself, at least not then, but I know now. I couldn't do it because I fell in love with you, something I had tried so hard to prevent. No, that isn't right. It was already too late the moment I laid eyes on you; when I held you in my arms for the first time and saw you look up at me with your innocent newborn eyes, I was already in love. As the years went by, I watched you grow from a cute and charming young boy to a handsome and seductive young man so how could I not fall in love? I loved many things about you but the most important being that I can see who you are inside your heart. I found it amazing as well as appalling how you can fool so many people for so long, including the ones who loved and fell in love with you but you could not fool me and it is not just because of our contract.

_Because I love you _  
><em>And I'll do anything <em>  
><em>I'll give you my heart, my everything <em>  
><em>Because I love you <em>  
><em>I'll be right by your side <em>  
><em>To be your light, to be your guide<em>

I love you because I understand you and because you understand me. You have been misunderstood by so many people, just as I have. You have also been hurt in life as I have, betrayed by the ones who should have protected you, your own parents. Just as my parents sold me into slavery when I was a child, your parents abandoned you and your sister in a foreign land. My love for you is what drove me to watch over you for all the years you spent in exile while waiting for the right time to make myself known to you. I did not do it for your parents or just so that I can make a contract with you. I regret that I have not been entirely truthful with you from the start, especially about your mother. It was bad enough you knew your father to be a cold and callus man so I wanted you to at least remember Marianne as a caring and compassionate woman as well as a devoted and loving mother, even if it wasn't true. I did not want you to find out the way you did and it pained me to see how devastated you were to find out that the mother you loved and adored to be every bit as cruel as the father you despised.

_If you should feel _  
><em>That I don't really care <em>  
><em>And that you're starting to lose ground <em>  
><em>Just let me reassure you <em>  
><em>That you can count on me <em>  
><em>And that I'll always be around <em>

They say when you truly love someone, you can feel their pain and joy as if they were your very own and that is very true. Knowing you reminded me of how it felt like to be human again; you awoke feelings in me I thought were long dead. After witnessing so many atrocities over the centuries, I killed my emotions because I believed it would make my curse more bearable but now I see that I was wrong. While others may think you cold, ruthless, and unconcerned with the consequences of your actions, I knew better. I know that the deaths of the countless people you caused weighed on your heart like lead as it did mine. As the one who gave you your power, it was every bit my responsibility as much as yours. While your followers see you as some kind of infallible miracle maker, I know that you are just as vulnerable as anyone else. That's why I wanted to be your shoulder to lean on during your times of strife. Please don't ever think that I don't care about you; it's just that centuries of pain and solitude have made it so hard for me to express my feelings. I did promise you that I would always stay by your side no matter what and I remain true to my word.

_Because I love you _  
><em>My heart's an open door <em>  
><em>So won't you please come on in? <em>  
><em>Because I love you <em>  
><em>I'll be right by your side <em>  
><em>To be your light, to be your guide <em>

Yes, Lelouch, I love you. And because I love you, I will stay with you untill the very end. After all, we still have a contract to fullfill, do we not?

**A/B: So what do you think? I plan to make a longer version of this later but it won't be in my drabbles collection because of the rating. This is just a short fic on what I think C.C feels for Lelouch; I personally think those two are perfect for each other. If one pays close attention to the anime, one can see that C.C has been watching over Lelouch for most of his life even if he himself didn't realize it since she knew his parents before he was born. I will be writing a few more drabbles for the others too so please check out my works and tell me what you think! ;)**


	2. If I Fall

Disclaimer: I do not own Code Geass or its characters and the song 'If I Fall' is by Amber Pacific

If I Fall

Hey, Lelouch, do you remember the first time we met? I've had many assignments before but you were the first target I had whose memory had been rewritten. It was an assignment unlike any I've ever had before. My previous missions have always been simple- to eliminate anyone the Britannian Emperor sent me after. It was the only life I have ever known until I met you. Before that, I was perfectly content with living the way I have been and I never felt like I was missing out on anything. It was when I was assigned to play the role of your little brother did that begin to change.

For as long as I remember, I have always been alone without any family or real friends, even within the Geass Order; I never knew my parents or if I was born out of love. I was abandoned and left to fend for myself at a very young age and would have died on the streets if V.V had not found me and took me in. Even though I always feared, despised, and distrusted him, I still served him loyally because I owed him my life; it was he who took me in, gave me my geass power, and some sort of purpose. He groomed me to be a merciless killer who obeyed orders without question but what he had not counted on was the time I spent with you awakening emotions within me I never thought I had.

_This is for the ones who believes their lives won't change_  
><em>Hoping that someday things will mend and be the same<em>  
><em>And this is for the ones who have lost it all and all that's left to gain<em>  
><em>Is a simple reminder that the things that were blind to slip away...<em>

To be honest, I was nervous when I was told that I was to play the part of your younger brother, not only because it was to be a long-term assignment, but also because I was never much of a spy and had practically no acting experience even though it was not really required because your memory was rewritten. Even so, when you greeted me for the first time with such tenderness, it made me uneasy because you really thought I was your little brother and I had to at least try my best to play the part.

_How can I say?  
>Say I'll be okay?<em>

In all honesty, I was appalled at how the emperor could send an assassin to spy on his own son even though it wasn't like me to question my orders, simply follow and obey them. But as the months went by, I started to wonder if what I was doing was really right, especially as I got to know you better as a person, not just a castaway prince of Britannia who rebelled against his empire and father as Zero. You were always so affectionate and protective towards me, showing me the kindness and love I have never received from anyone before and I must admit that it affected me and I found it addictive. The locket you gave me for my 'birthday' was the first gift I have ever received, at least one that came from the heart. My geass could also be considered a 'gift', I supposed, but I knew that V.V only bestowed it upon me to make me useful to him and the empire. When you gave me the locket, I finally realized what I have been missing out on for all the years I spent as a mindless killing machine.

I never intended or wanted any emotional attachment to you, you who was supposed to be nothing but another target to me. It just happened, and so slowly that I never saw it coming until it was too late. I was frightened and confused of my feelings for you and it wasn't long before I discovered that they went beyond that of brotherly love which wouldn't have happened if I was a normal person which I was not. My orders were to spy on you and kill you if you ever regained your memories of being Zero and raise the flag of rebellion against your father again but when the time came, I just couldn't do it because I had fallen in love with you and didn't want to lose you because you were the only real family I ever had.

_And if I fall through these days that go by without cause_  
><em>Just a painful mistake has left me here on my own<em>  
><em>And if I fall through these nights I can't seem to go on<em>  
><em>Just a sign that you're with me gives me the strength to hold on<em>

I had known from a very young age that I was bi-sexual and found it frightening that I could love indiscriminately regardless of gender, that I could desire a guy just as much as I could a girl. And as painful and difficult as it was, I had to keep my romantic feelings for you under the guise of brotherly love because I knew they would be unacceptable in the eyes of society. It hurt to see you smile at me and knowing that I could not hold you and kiss you the way I wanted out of fear that you would recoil from me in fear and disgust. I also envied C.C and Nunnally fiercely because I wanted you to love me the way you loved them but knew that you couldn't because you're not that kind of person.

Even so, I still wanted to be near you so I abandoned my allegiance to Britannia and joined your cause even though I'm not sure if I truly believed in it. However, I did believe in you and was willing to do anything to win your acceptance, approval, and love no matter how hopeless it may seem. And while you may be angry with me for trying to replace your sister, I still feel that deep down in your heart, you do love and care for me; you would not have kept begging me to stop using my geass to save you otherwise, even if it killed me.

_Now that the lines been broken_  
><em>I'm too afraid to just look back<em>  
><em>The pages have left an empty space <em>  
><em>You were all I had<em>  
><em>Why does it have to be this way<em>  
><em>These things they'll never change<em>  
><em>Still I'm left with knowing, content and happy, this is all I need<em>

The physical pain in my body is nothing compared to the one in my heart. Even though I know you could never love me that way, I still wanted to save you because you were the first and only person to show me real kindness, even if it was due to fabricated memories.

"_Rolo, why did you save me? After I said such awful things…"_

"_Because you are such a liar, nii-san. It was a lie, wasn't it? What you said about hating me and wanting to kill me?"_ I wasn't sure if I wanted to know but felt that I must.

"_Yes…it was. And you saw right through me, didn't you? Just what I expected of my little brother."_

_And if I fall through these days that go by without cause  
>Just a painful mistake has left me here on my own<br>And if I fall through these nights I can't seem to go on  
>Just a sign that you're with me gives me the strength to hold on<em>

You have no idea how happy I was to hear that. Even if I should die here, I shall die happy knowing that I served you well, that I gave my life so that you can live on to fulfill your true destiny. I know that I don't have much time left so I must make my last request while I still can. Even though I could never tell you my true feelings, I'm sure you must have figured them out by now.

"_Say, Lelouch, will you remember me? Because I won't ever forget our days together; it may have been just an illusion for you, a period in your life made by deceitful magic, but to me, it was something irreplaceable, so much that I never wanted it to end."_

My eyelids feel heavy but I keep them open a little longer to see you smile at me as you take my hand in yours, a sad smile that showed me that you did indeed care and that you will mourn for me. Even if it were only briefly, I was happy in the time that I spent with you as your brother; I was able to experience what it was like to be truly human.

"_You are indeed my brother and I promise that I will never forget you and what you've done for me." _

As you say this, I can see tears form in the corner of your eyes. I wanted to reach out and wipe them away, to comfort you. But I am too weak to lift my hand and keep my eyes open so I manage one last smile and say _"That's right. Because I know who you truly are inside your heart…"_

As I close my eyes for the last time, my final thoughts are of you and of the joy you brought me. Thank you for everything, brother, for showing me what real happiness is and for mourning for someone like me.

_And if I fall through these days that go by without cause_  
><em>Just a painful mistake has left me here on my own<em>  
><em>And if I fall through these nights I can't seem to go on<em>  
><em>Just a sign that you're with me gives me the strength to hold on<em>

Yes, farewell, Lelouch. Live on and fulfill your destiny as I have fulfilled mine. I will be watching you so don't forget your promise…

**A/N: So what do you think? I hope it wasn't too terribly OOC for Rolo and I felt inspired to write this because I think his affections for Lelouch blurs between brotherly and romantic, making me assume that he could be homo or bi-sexual or just very confused when it comes to his feelings since he practically grew up without love. Rolo is a very interesting character to me; while most ppl would hate him for killing Shirley, I actually pity him because I can see that everything he does, he does for Lelouch, and that includes eliminating anyone he thinks would be a danger to his big brother. Growing up the way he did, it should come as no surprise, right? **


	3. My Heart Will Go On

Disclaimer: I do not own Code Geass or its characters and the song 'My Heart Will Go On' is by Celine Dion.

My Heart Will Go On

_Kallen, you must live…_

How many years has it been since you said that to me? They're only three simple words yet they drive me every single day of my life. More than a decade has passed since you left this world and so much has changed since then. I am now a wife and mother of three as well as a Knight of the empire we fought once fought against, the empire that is now ruled by your sister whom I faithfully and loyally serve because it was the best way I knew how to honor your memory.

I close my eyes and point my face to the sky, letting my hair blow in the wind as I enjoy the cool ocean breeze from my position on a cliff overlooking the sea, a bouquet of flowers in my arms. The view is breathtaking, especially with the sun setting in the distance and lighting the skies in hues of pink and gold. It is not often I get chances to get away like this and I wanted to spend it thinking of you since it is also the anniversary of your death.

_Every night in my dreams  
>I see you, I feel you<br>That is how I know you go on_

History may remember you as an incarnation of the devil himself but we who followed and fought alongside you know the truth, even if we did not discover it ourselves until the very end. You were the one who gave hope to all those who suffered from Britannian oppression and led them to freedom as Zero, the Dark Knight of Justice as people called you. To the Black Knights, you were a brilliant tactician and charismatic leader who finally gave us a real chance at victory in our war against Britannia, a war that was once thought to be hopeless. But to me, you were more than that. You were also the first man I fell in love with and with whom a part of my heart still lies to this very day.

_Far across the distance  
>And spaces between us<br>You have come to show you go on_

I find it strange how being near the ocean reminds me so much of you considering that we never had a chance to see it together. In the two years I have known you, our time and efforts have been consumed by the war against Britannia, so much that we never really had the chance to see what might have become of us had we been normal students living in a more peaceful world instead of a commander and his subordinate engaged in a war against both our homelands. Even though I know its pointless, I still can't help wondering what might have been. And no matter how much I wished it, I knew you could never be mine; fate and your tragic destiny would not allow it.

Even so, I regret nothing; no matter how it happened or what our circumstances were, you still made a difference in my life and touched it in a way no one else has ever done before. I felt a connection with you in that neither of us ever really had a chance to live a normal life, having come from broken families and lost many dear friends and relatives. When my brother died, I felt like I had lost it all and had no other reason to live. That was why I always volunteered for the most dangerous missions, risking my life recklessly in hopes that I would be killed. It was you who changed that, who gave me a new reason to live and value my life and for that I will always be grateful.

_Near, far, wherever you are  
>I believe that the heart does go on<br>Once more you open the door  
>And you're here in my heart<br>And my heart will go on and on_

I never knew why I ended up falling for you the way I did considering the fact that I didn't even _like _you when we first met. As a fellow student, I found you to be quite arrogant, brash, and conceited as well as scathingly judgmental, content to watch the world from the sidelines and look down on people who were not born as privileged as you. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that you were the same person as the masked leader who dared to challenge the might of Britannia, who won countless thousands of followers, and struck fear into the very hearts of those who would use their power to oppress the weak. Never did I imagine that the snotty classmate I despised was also same man who intrigued me like no other with his brilliance, courage, and mystique While your legend as Zero lives on in the hearts and minds of the people, I remember you as Lelouch first, the noble man behind the mask whom I have grown to know and love.

_Love can touch us one time  
>And last for a lifetime<br>And never let go till we're gone  
>Love was when I loved you<br>One true time I hold to  
>In my life we'll always go on<em>

Looking back now, I find it funny how my memories of you drove me to become the person I am today. When you told me to live, I know that you meant more than just survive; you meant to live my life to the fullest, not only for myself, but also the ones I love. It pains me to know that I was able to live on to raise a family of my own while you will never have that chance. You have done so much for me and it was not until you died that I realize how little I've done for you in return, not as a follower, but as a friend. I turned away from you yet you never abandoned me, not in your heart and not when I was captured by the enemy. It took me too long to realize that you pushed me away from you to protect me, that your love for me made you unwilling to allow me to sacrifice myself for your sake.

_Near, far, wherever you are  
>I believe that the heart does go on<br>Once more you open the door  
>And you're here in my heart<br>And my heart will go on and on_

As I clutch the bouquet of flowers I brought for you closer to my bosom, I feel a tear escape my eye while I say a prayer for you before throwing it out into the ocean. I would bring them to your gravesite if I knew where it was but since I don't, I hope you will find this just as pleasing. Even though you are no longer here, I hope that some way, somehow, you can hear me. I should have told you this a long time ago but since I didn't, I'll tell you now: Thank you, Lelouch, for all that you've done for me. And I'm sorry, sorry that I did not realize your true intentions until it was too late. I will continue to serve Nunnally and live my life to the fullest because I know it was what you wanted me to do. And even though I love my husband fiercely and passionately, you will always hold a special place in my heart as my first love and the one who taught me how to truly live.

_You're here, there's nothing I fear  
>And I know that my heart will go on<br>We'll stay forever this way  
>You are safe in my heart<br>And my heart will go on and on_

Yes, Lelouch, a part of me will always love you, even if you exist only in my memory. I believe that if the people we love are stolen from us, the way to have them live on is to never stop loving them. Cities fall, people die. But real love is forever...

**A/N: So what do you think of this one? If that last paragraph sounds familiar, it is a quote I borrowed from the movie 'The Crow'. Its my favorite quote from that movie and I think it suites Kallen's feelings very well. So does the song 'My Heart Will Go On'. No matter how much she may love Lelouch or think she does, she would still eventually have to go on with her life which is just precisly what he would want her to do.**


End file.
